Obstacles

So many upcoming obstacles, I don’t even know where to begin. As much as I wanted to shout it from the rooftops about living a sober life, I haven’t really been doing so. Every time someone brings up going out for a drink, or stopping at a bar, or going for a wine tasting, or going out for a birthday….I just keep hush, say nothing, and hope the subject quickly changes. I thought I was ready to just blurt it out, but I’m clearly not. I’m probably most fearful of not being taken seriously. That seems to always be the issue, people will just be like “ohhhh not drinking this month- cute”. Um yah- or ever again. But what do I say? Ughhh….a pregnancy would come in handy right about now. Yah- terrible thing to say, but honestly, I’m desperate.

I read a comment on someone’s blog (not sure where- mind blank) that said something to the point of “whats the big deal, just tell people you dont drink”. I WISH it were so easy! The people around me, not bad people, just party people, would not understand such an idea. And they would most likely be pushy and just say “have one!”….ugh I hate that. So that is why I have taken such a liking to this community! I need the support of people who understand for right now. The support of those close to me will come in time. But for right now, they sort of remain in the dark.

One main obstacle coming up……my bachelorette party. I have been avoiding the topic, and trying to get out of it, it is not looking good though. My friends are very persistent. What in the world does a sober girl do for such an event? And how do I convince my friends planning it to not shove shots and wine bottles in my face? Why is the truth so painful? I just don’t have the courage to tell them all it yet! If anyone has answers….I’m all ears. I’m all for having a male stripper make a fool of himself for me, and it might be even more fun if I actually remember it!

 

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6 thoughts on “Obstacles

  1. Wow, your bachelorette party!!! Congrats! AND, that is a challenge, for SURE. Mine was in January and it was definitely a booze-soaked weekend. It was fun to be with everyone, but I basically tried to drink my way out of the flu (I was coming down with it on the way to the weekend, but decided to drink until I didn’t feel sick anymore). Needless to say I ended up only lasting until Saturday at about 6pm, when I collapsed into a high fever, lost my voice completely, and had to just go to bed instead of enjoy my second night with the girls. Lame.
    Anyway I totally get your fear. I haven’t told anyone except my husband and I don’t know how/if I’m even going to discuss it. We’re trying to conceive so I have an easy excuse for those I’m close to, but that’s not the kind of excuse you broadcast all over the place either, so…
    I have the same friends. Party friends. They are super fun. But same as you, they just won’t understand it. But honestly, I don’t know how you get away with any other excuse at your own bach party. You might have to come clean. Your true friends will support you. And it’s YOUR party after all; you should do what you want to do for yourself.
    I think my hesitation is that I’m not even sure myself if this is forever, or what. I need the space to figure it out before I make it an “issue” that everyone knows about.
    Good luck with whatever you decide… I’m rooting for you!!!
    xo,
    girlonthelearn

    • I hear you….I’m not even sure for myself yet what exactly I am doing, other than trying to improve my life, so whatever that means to me, I have to figure out.
      Good point, it is MY party afterall…but mostly I feel like they all want an excuse to party.

  2. Hi,
    Yikes, a bachelorette party. Yeah, look, I don’t know how you are going to do that one sober except to take charge of it, own your sobriety, level with people and say you don’t want booze to be a part of it. Because, let’s face it, that is definitely an event that, for better or worse, people firmly associate with getting shit faced. And we could talk about why that’s so weird… you’re getting married to your true love… joy! Get hammered and get a lap dance from a stripper… so romantic!

    But anyway.

    If it were me I think I’d say ‘Guys, I’m not drinking, I’m seriously not drinking. I don’t want a boozy one. How about a fancy lunch or post high tea?’ But that’s me. You have to do what’s right for you but if you’re not firm and clear on this one you WILL have shots thurst in your face.

    Also, congratulations 🙂

    • A fancy lunch would be awesome! I will suggest that, and hope for the best.

      And yes, where did this bachelorette party mess come from? Being decked out in penis decorations from head to toe, with all girls wearing matching shirts, getting completely black out drunk, and annoying entire bars while doing so….who started this crap! I hate them….

  3. Good advice above – love the idea of having a fancy lunch – so much easier to deal with. And then you really wouldn’t even have to make a big deal out of not drinking.

    I feel what you’re going through – I’m kind of in the same boat with regards to telling people. I have been trying to think of my friends and even just acquantances who don’t drink. Nada. I don’t know a single person who doesn’t drink. WTH?

    • Yup- pretty much the only people I know who don’t drink are much older, and right now, my best buds ha. The rest are hitting early 30’s, yet still partying like they are 20. Well- thats basically what I was doing not that long ago.

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