Reminders

I don’t think it hurts to have a little reminder time and again of why I began to work towards a sober life (well it kind of hurts, it hurts to think about them). So here are a few reminders for myself of some pretty horrible moments in my drunken embarrassment of a life:

  • woke up in college in someone else’s room, had no idea how I got there or what I had done, happened on more than one occasion
  • woke up in the back seat of my car outside of a bar, the bartender woke me up to tell me turn my car off so I wouldn’t get a ticket
  • woke up in my car outside a wine event I had attended
  • drank an entire bottle of wine to get through writing a paper for grad school
  • got smashed at almost every wedding I have ever been to, even fell asleep on a bathroom floor at one, super classy
  • ran into a neighbor and introduced myself, turned out I had already met her, I was too drunk to remember
  • walked home from a neighbors house without my shoes on, woke up in bed and couldn’t remember coming home
  • countless mornings waking up with eyes puffy and swollen from crying the night before (and never remembering what I had cried about)
  • went to a neighborhood bbq, I drank enough for myself and everyone there, now I can barely get up the nerve to say hi when passing by
  • Oh, and one last one, ruining thanksgiving dinner because I was in complete psychotic blackout mode and lashed out at people for no reason

Those aren’t all my worst moments, because I can’t remember most of them, but those are at least a few good reminders as to why I must get my life together. I want sobriety more than anything else. On to day 10!

Eggs

4 thoughts on “Reminders

  1. This is such a great exercise to remind you, in the moments when you’re tempted to drink, why you don’t.

    Go you! 🙂

  2. We are so on the same page this weekend… I had such a hard time remembering why I decided to do this in the first place and realized I needed to really remind myself of some of my worst times so that I don’t lose my resolve. I was trying to work up my courage to write a blog post with this theme when I saw yours!! It does help to see it in black and white. Some of my worst moments cause me such shame that I’m not even sure I’m brave enough to put them down. But I know if I’m going to have the strength to stick to this that I’ll have to take a hard look at this stuff. Good work being honest with yourself (and us!). It takes guts.

  3. Are You There God? You Never Call.

    Thanks for that. Boy, do I feel you. Mine is different– I seem totally fine most of the time. But every now and then, one of these things happens. I get it. Your words really hit me, like I feel it in my knuckles. I’m glad I read your blog. Xo.

  4. One day at a time

    I’m not ready to do a list like that just yet. But it’s a great idea for when you’re struggling. Believe me I’ve a list of things as long as my arm that could go on there. Hangs head in shame!

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